El Mundo Today


Edible Animals VII: "¡Mañana, mañana!"

Parrots are edible: I know this for a fact thanks to my gran. She's turning 90 today, and recently confessed to me, much to my mother's embarrassment, that she had once chased an imprudent parrot and disposed of it the old fashioned way, i.e. by virtue of a proverbially established principle: "ave que no vuela, a la cazuela" --a flightless bird ends up in the pan. It's the only language it understands when it comes to explaining to it by way of practice what its position is in the food chain. The unfortunate winged reptile had fallen on a closed patio and found itself deprived of its innate flying gift, having spent most of its gallinaceous life in a cage. Stupid as it was, it did however bloody well know it was about to die, subject to its dinosaur instinct. As to good old gran, she knew by common-sense reason, lessons from experience and food-chain Order that, as soon as she had it birdie inside the sack, it'd be hers. So it was.
"Mañaña, mañana!", it birdie kept answering to my gran's murmured prayer to come down a ledge it had found temporary safety upon.
It was the only word it knew, but for once at least it had found it to be becoming... if not of use.
No sooner is it in the sack than you may drown it in the sink, smash it against a wall, twist its neck to avoid looking into its eyes, or hearing its words while imagining it means them... Enough of that: whichever way it's going to end up where it rightly belongs: en la cazuela...
A pressure cooker works best: pluck the exotic thing thoroughly and throw it inside, half-gutted, together with: 1 peeled tomato, half an onion, chopped, one chili pepper, a clove of garlic, a drizzle of oil, and a pinch of salt.

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